Have you ever?

Well, its been a week since i last updated. Going through a rough time here. I went for a shopping time with viv, ven and their mother. Well, that was the most expensive shopping time i ever seen. We ate the most unworthy tepanyaki in pavillion, that i can assure u guys. Sigh*

Well, the secret was out, i took viv to TonyRoma's for her bday. It wasnt much but it was as much that i could give. I think we had a good time. Haha.. She loved the flowers that i gave her, that i was really happy about.

Eventough, i was rejected again, i think it was worth a try. When we walked out of the restarant, the waiter said to me that i was lucky to have her as my GF. That really broke my heart.

Its amazing, how much a girl can change my life. I cant eat when she was not happy, i cant sleep if she wasnt home, i cant stfu if i dont know where she was, etc etc..

I know i cant be like a control freak knowing everything she does, i just need to know where she was going and i would be releived. She is a big girl, and i know she can take care of herself.

I want her soo much as my girlfriend, at least when i am not with her, i know that her heart was with me. That is something that i really needed.

I cant stand just being her "friend" because i know that she can attract many other guys out there, and i really feel insecure. I just need that bond of a boyfriend there, just to be someone more in her heart. I want to hug her to sleep, i want to give her the most romantic 1st kiss she would never forget, i want to just see her play dota like a little child, I want to be the best guy she ever knew, i want to tuck her in bed when she is sick, i want to hold her hand and enjoy the time we have together, no boundries.. no worries.. n no EMO*.

If ever that day comes, i will treasure it to the very last moments of my life...

Questions run through minds of people in love, What is she doing now? How is her studies going? Did she have enough sleep? Did her headache attack?... EVERYTHING! I just wonder, how much to i mean to her, that was y i never stop trying. I know i've been pushing too hard, but i just never want to lose her. Sob*