Lectures

I came down from Genting early this morning. Negotiations after negotiations with my parents, at the end of the day, i manage to convince them that i am actualy serious to study in inti college, for my American degree. Neways, its all good there.

Later in the evening, i went with my parents to Carrefour to get some groceries. It was fun in a way when the family is together, shopping and i havent been seeing that in a long long time. Haha...

It was Jason's birthday, so i kinda called him over to fetch me somewhere so that i can celebrate with him since nobody asked him out yet. He's a great guy, but people seem to hate the way he boast about himself, all in all, he has been a great friend to me, there is no harm trying to make my friend happy for his Boring Birthday. *kekes*

We went Murni, with Ngai Hao, Ven, Mel, Evon and Willy, there is where all my lecturers start bangging me. Again and again its all about viv. I dont understand the fact that, she can be a real hard head at times, but I see her sensitive part and the beautiful part of viv. Emotions and temper can be improved from time to time. Theres no point talking n bringging up her pass as a so called barrier for me to love her. The pass cant be changed, but the present and the future can. Eventough there is a slight chance when it comes to Viv, but there is a chance, somewhere... I think that as a guy, i should tolerate the bad and love her positive side.

(Edited) My dignity and pride was shattered to ashes when everyone starts saying how stupid i am to go after a girl that seems imposible. Well, i kinda question myself sometimes, what i am actualy looking for? *sigh*

In my life, i have been through fast and long relationships, how fast i get a girl doesnt show how great I am, and how long i can last with a girl doesnt mean how patient I am. It all comes down to "what kind of relationship that we both are looking for?". I know, Viv is not ready to accept any guy at the moment, but it all still depends on how i want to make myself worth her love. There is no point bringging up all the stupid things i said to her, its the past. Y not just change, and build the relationship back up.

Sad to say, I am not a smooth talker, i am slow when it comes to girls that i really give a heart to. Not afraid of saying, i was a player back then. LOL.. When i dun give a shit, then i dun care about what people think, that leads to confidence and self-esteem. Having that, its a win-win situation. Lol... i've lived that part of my life before.

But i realize, from time to time, i build up enemies here and there. I just decided to change my lifestyle n try to be slightly on track with people. Being in the same channel so to speak.

What i see in Viv, is that she might be looking at a long term relationship rather than a for-fun-show guy. Which is just so important to know, so that nothing is taken for granted.

When a guy decides to make a move on a girl, there is no such thing as "wasting ur time". Come on, I am just 20, n she is just 18. What time are we wasting? There is only a chance to be given or taken from one another. This is no drama, lets face it, i am still holding on because my feelings are still with her. But, as time goes by, i might change my mind, but that is my decision.

LoL, i just hope that the feelings and chemistry between Viv and I can be settle between us. Can we work it out? Well, we'll let time decide.